Don't be a martyr!

You may have heard me say this before in others posts. People from the past. Those who just don't resonate with your frequency anymore.

You may know someone in your life that you just can't tolerate being around... how can you know if someone is on a lower vibration? If by being around them , talking to them , you just don't feel good or right.

It is important to remember we all go through different waves of feelings and emotions.. I'm talking about those people that are ALWAYS negative and no matter what you try to do to make see things different more positive  way.. they just don't or maybe they don't want to? These are the people that we just have to sort of not have around us in anyway.

You'll find if you're near such a person you may end up feeling a bit agitated or frustrated.. this is because you are not on the same wavelength or vibrational frequency and it just doesn't feel good being around them at all.

Don't feel guilty if such a person is a close friend or family member. Some of the worst people I have even known in terms of low vibrations were actually  former family members and former friends! Former because I am not in touch with them for a long time now.. and with good reason! I know someone like me who is all about high vibes and positivity.. it doesn't seem likely.. but I think that's why because I saw what they were like and I made a vow to myself to become a better, happier and more positive person and I don't let anything else define me, not life experience, not upbringing, I define me. I choose to be a happy and positive person no matter what.

So you see, no matter what your history, your upbringing, your circumstances, you can change your attitude and behaviour to be more positive, and a better high vibe life.

So what type of people am I talking about: These are the people that always try to cause arguments, chaos.. and you know what.. I just didn't want to be a part of it and I will never be in any way! They're always jealous. They never encourage you. They always put you down. They attention seek all the time, moan all the time, they think it  is always about them ( it's not!)  and they have a bad attitude all the time. If you're happy about a good thing that has happened they'll always try to find something bad and would love to cause an argument to make things negative.. I think these people are just not happy with who they are..

Anyway, I just don't get these type of people.. they're always on about this or that which happened to them.. they have a victim mentality.. well you know what I don't think we should let negative past experiences define who we are now. I certainly don't! No way! Think about it like this, say someone did something to you in the past which you are still holding onto. you're holding onto that anger..? why would you do that to yourself? Wasn't it enough that the person who acted badly towards you.. did that in the past? Why are you still allowing them to be anywhere near your thoughts or your Now? Think about it that way. And hopefully even out of your dislike for that person.. you will just stop giving them or the negative memory any more attention!

What's that saying: " I remove negative people and therefore make room for positivity in my life"


Maybe I'm not alone and that perhaps  every family has that one person that tries to cause chaos... I'll say this now, those low vibe energies whether in physical planes or spiritual planes.. should just fall into a frequency fully separate from the other normal, happy and positive people, where they'll be either alone or with others like them and see how they like being around more people like themselves! Maybe that's the only way they'll change? Or maybe not? Who knows.

Because these are the people that without them.. ahhh the world would be oh so very much nicer :-)


I'm a kind person and I'm about positivity. But let's face it.. there is just no hope with some people!

So I'm writing this to say, be kind be positive to yourself and others.. BUT if you come across these types that are just always low vibe... DON'T be a martyr! Just move on and limit your contact with them. You will thank yourself for it.

Raise Your Vibration

         I get asked this question often. " So how does one go about raising vibrations effectively?"

 

Well actually I think a lot of people try to over complicate this. It is actually simple! The only difficult thing some people face I believe is the fact that they don't do it consistently, their habits, behaviour, thoughts and actions aren't consistently that which resonate with higher vibes.

 

The most important thing is to make a positive habit out of  doing these simple  things and easy ways in which to raise your vibration on a daily basis:

• Positive self talk. Whether this is positive affirmations starting with I AM then adding something positive afterwards like I AM Happy. I AM going to have a day. I AM strong. Make sure the words after I AM are always positive. So don't try to use it as a passive aggressive statement where by another person could be directly or indirectly affected in a negative way. Because then that is actually not raising your vibration at all. And it won't be good for you either.

• Pay 3 compliments to 3 strangers. Yes this sounds odd. But actually by projecting positivity and good thoughts, and saying nice things to others... well you will be positive too. As what you project is projected onto you.

• Listen to music which either has no words or the words are positive ones. So much of today's pop/hiphop/rap/rock music has negative words, or certainly negative undertones or subliminal messages which aren't good. I suggest listening to high vibe melodic soft trance music, classical music, piano tunes which are mostly in C-E are good for dispersing negative vibes away.

• Smile, laugh even if you don't feel like it. Even if you fake it. This sends signals to your brain that you're happy, and the brain releases endorphins as response which will actually elevate your mood and therefore raise your vibration.

• Move! Dance!

• Get some crystals and leave them around the house they're so good for getting rid of low vibes. make sure you wash them often to remove any low vibes they may have

• Be kind to yourself. Write down lots of good positive things about yourself and leave them around the house.

• Never ever let other's attitude, behaviour or words change your mood. If you feel a bit down or peed off with someone, don't! why would you let them affect you in any way?

• NEVER blame anyone else for your problems or if you're  not happy with something in your life.. don't place blame. That just makes you a victim. Take responsibility for yourself and see how much better you feel. If you're always blaming others for the way you feel, or how your life is, then how are you supposed to change anything.

• Never dwell on the past. If you're always or more often thinking about the past, what you could have done, what ifs, getting annoyed with this or that from the past.. well all you're doing is creating a stagnate energy in your present life! Because you're telling the universe you're stuck in the past and aren't ready to move on. You need to work hard on staying in the present. 

• If or when negative thoughts come up, let them .. just don't follow them. Don't pay attention. Don't get caught up in it basically.  Just think of negative thoughts as that needy, drama queen type of person... it tries to get your attention.. but if you don't.. it goes away! Let the thoughts arise, then think of something nicer. In general don't get stuck in any low vibe emotions.  It takes practice.. so consistency  is important.

• Be kind to yourself, love yourself, respect yourself. But Also be kind to others too. You will never raise your own vibration if you're acting low vibe towards others. If someone isn't high vibe themselves, or are negative.. and you can't deal with them.. just stay away from them.. if that isn't possible.. say something nice to them.. maybe that's just what they need. You don't have to be friends with them so you can still limit your contact but it's just about managing the situation especially if this person is someone you work etc

• Most importantly.. learn to listen to your intuition. Learn to centre yourself. Make a daily habit out of clearing yourself of any low vibes.

• Don't say things like " I'll be happy once this happens or that happens.." BE HAPPY NOW! In this moment. Prepare for the future, but never let your happiness depend on something else.

• Change your perceptions! things happens for a reason. You may not see the reason now.. but in time you will. Changing your perception and being a more optimistic person is a good way to live high vibe. And once you're living high vibe daily.. then things tend to change and be good anyway! Think of disappointments as stop gaps in the path of life. Life does test us to teach us to help us. So see it in that way, see what you can learn from each situation. Being high vibe and raising vibrations is a way of life. It's about all aspects of life. It isn't just a spiritual new age fad. And to begin this all you have to do it change your perception to a different more positive one.. apply to all aspects of your life...soon enough you will see the difference.

How to have a 'high vibe' relationship

What does high vibe mean really?

 

High Vibe person:  is  basically someone operating on nicer emotions, feelings thoughts and actions consistently and more often than being in low vibe emotions. It's finding that balance. So that neutralised state is a good place to be most of the time.

 

 

Humans emotions are natural and so are more lower vibe emotions like, anger, sadness, regret etc

Although I believe they 'shouldn't even be natural. As I believe humans have been reconditioned to have these low vibe emotions. But I'll discuss this topic further in another post soon.

 

The main thing to be more high vibe, is to not be in these low vibe emotions for too long. So it is ok if you feel a bit angry every now and then, when that happens observe your thoughts and get into a daily routine of training your mind to be fully in the moment especially when any low vibe emotions or feelings are about!

 

It will take work, it won't happen overnight. But with the right intentions and dedication. You can make your thoughts, feelings more nicer and positive and therefore more high vibe.

 

this can be applied to all aspects of life, for a generally more positive life.

So today, I will discuss How to have a high vibe & harmonious relationships ( any kind of relationship/friendship)

I speak to so many people daily as part of my work, with regards to relationships. It is the number one topic people ask about. Now these simples ways in which to have a high vibe relationships can be applied to any kind of relationship, not just romantic ones. So friendships, professional  relationships etc.

 

low status / high status

 

Ok, you may be surprised when  I tell you in this case, it is actually the person who is ' low status' who will end up ' high vibe' especially in a conflict or argument / disagreement.

 

Here's how it works:

 

Say you're having an argument with someone, it could be your girlfriend/boyfriend/ boss/friend

they're shouting at you, talking loudly telling you all the things you've done or said wrong and that they're very much in the right. This is typical 'high status' person.

 

They expect you to do the same, and this is probably what they want. To get a reaction from you. High status people tend to be domineering and very sure of themselves and they operate mainly from the Ego. They Ego is very much a low vibe place. The Ego gives off the impression of being very confident self assured when actually it's quite scared and shouts louder to self preserve and protect itself.

 

The only way to diffuse such a situation and stay in high vibe and don't get dragged to their level is this:

 

• Don't react ( don't shout back, don't get angry)
• Let them say their bit and say nothing or say something like: "Ok, sorry you feel that way"
• Speak to them only very briefly and in a calm manner / tone

This works every time. You might annoy them a bit more at first, because they really wanted a reaction or an argument to please their scared Ego. But because your non reactions and calm manner leave them nowhere to go, they start to feel slightly foolish and therefore will walk off saying nothing or put their head down in shame and  actually realise they were being unreasonable. Sometimes they calm down so much and start apologising. That's a bonus!

 

The Ego will always tell you that in a conflict situation, you need to fight back, shout louder. Well of course, because it is the Ego that is offended!

 

So you see by being a ' low status' one can actually be elevated to high vibes, in these situations.

 

This is such an easy and effective way to have good, high vibe relationships. And remember, if you're really annoyed because someone insulted you, it is not YOU who got offended. It was your EGO!

And tell yourself you are not defined by someone else's opinions no matter what they may be.

 

Also remember this: only unhappy people insult others or try to start arguments or cause conflict. So don't join them!

 

In order to have high vibe relationships. Only clear communication whilst calm will work. Nothing good will ever come out of an argument.

 

 

Exclusive to romantic relationships

 

I always get this question in my readings : "why hasn't he/she contacted me. I feel so frustrated /upset. it's been a while and no contact."

 

This is a relationships that is not in balance. The person who is basically ignoring the other has elevated themselves by leaving the other with no communication. Because the person being ignored will be in low vibe emotions such as frustration, hurt, angry, upset. Whilst the other person, is feeling happy in control, because more often than not, the person being ignored gets so frustrated and ends up contacting the other only to be ignored furthermore. This is a game of will. The person ignoring you is doing for one or more of these reasons:

 

1. They like to be in charge and only do things when it suits them ( this is a red flag, and you don't want to be involved with such person anyway)
2. They are playing games, testing the water to see how much you actually care for them ( so if you will contact them instead etc)
3. They place other things / people in a higher priority than you ( again if you've known this person for a long time, this is another red flag.
4. They are trying to phase you out
5. This is what you do: Do NOT contact them at all. Pay no attention to them whatsoever.

 

 This is how you can decipher which one of the people above is this person after you have used the no contact method:

 

Scenario 1 as mentioned above:  This person may contact you but do it much later. So say you have not contacted them at all, they will contact you only weeks or couple of months later with a very blaze tone of a message. Because they only do things when it suits them and everything they do will seem half hearted. Their message will have a rude tone to it. Like how dare you ignore them, when it should be then ignoring you. They won't give much away.

 

Scenario 2: This person is more likely to contact you after noticing you've gone quiet after a short time, say within a few days or a week. Because this person usually likes you, but is only playing games or just waiting to see if you'll come forward first etc. So when you stop contacting them, they'll get worried and make a contact being extra nice and trying to make plans to meet up with specific dates etc.

 

scenario 3: This person will contact you because he/she sort of like you, but just not as much others! So they will contact you after you have stopped contact, again within 2-3 weeks, so not that quick but also not taking a very long time like scenario 1. Their message will be  a bit more friendly, it will be very short and they will generally not ask you much about you, they'll talk more about general things like what's been going on with them, and generally they won't make specific plans to make more contact or meet up etc. So they will say things like; " you should meet up soon" but no specific dates.

 

scenario 4: they will be glad you have got the message and won't be making any contact with you again. ( this one is very clear!)

 

But once you do this, at least you know where you stand and can feel a bit more happier, because you're not relying on someone else to make you happy by contacting you etc. You are doing it for yourself and will feel more in control. Because the best high vibe relationship you should have first is with yourself! love yourself / respect yourself.